Wednesday, June 28, 2006

WFMW - Coffee Dates

You know how it is. You date people, find the right person, date, marry, date, have kids, raise kids, pay bills, sleep when you can, grow older and live life.

Do you notice how dating seems to disappear? There just doesn't seem to be time for that when you are bringing up a family, working, keeping house, doing things for church, being there for friends. But this one activity is so vital to keeping romance and connection in your marriage. You NEED to date your spouse even after - especially after- you marry, to keep it fun and lively and loving.

If you are anything like me, you don’t have the money it takes to pay a sitter and go out. If we did that, all we could do was sit in the driveway and then go back in after the allotted time. So Mr. Right and I do something else to make sure we have time for each other.

We have coffee dates. During the school year, our children have before and after school childcare. We just make sure that we plan ahead, get them there when the childcare opens, and then we meet at the coffee shop for our time. It is only 30 minutes at the most, but we use it wisely. We sit and talk to each other about stuff.

Most of the time, it is not about the kids. We talk that enough as it is. We use the time to talk about dreams, feelings, struggles, prayer needs… things that get pushed aside with the daily grind. And it is a time to reconnect with each other, to remind each other that we are still happy to be pledged to each other in marriage, to say I’m happy that you are a part of my life.

I would love to say that we do it weekly, but that doesn't happen. So try bi-monthly or monthly to start out. You’ll wish it were more soon enough.

I know it won’t work for everyone, but if you can make this work, you will not regret the time spent on building up and maintaining your marriage.

For some other lovely ideas, head over to Shannon’s for some good stuff!

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