Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Gratituesday 7

It's time for a little shout out to the Lord, so you know that it must be Gratituesday, where one can be vocally thankful for something in life.

Why is it that I constantly need reminders as to how good God is? I mean, I know he is good, but somewhere along the way, I forget his promises for his children. Then I start thinking about how hopeless things seem, how much of we need to get by and what we don’t have, knowing that things are going to be mighty tough soon.

On Thursday, I started nagging Mr. Right about his lack of follow-through that may help us in the long run. Then I thought about the medical bills that we can’t pay at this moment, the ones that are coming up and lots of lean times and creative accounting to make sure that we can get by until some unknown, long-lost relative passes and leaves us a small inheritance to pay these bills. In other words, things were looking bleak in my eyes.

By bedtime, I could feel my heart racing and my worries growing to epic proportions. I was moody, exasperating to Mr. Right and depressed. After one long big sigh, I realized that I couldn’t keep it in, so I turned to Mr. Right and said, “Mr. Right, can I just tell you that I’m struggling with a bunch of financial worries. I know I shouldn’t be feeling this at all, but I can’t stop!” Mr. Right in all his wisdom, grabbed my hand and said, “Then let’s read.” He didn’t try to take the place of God and make things better. He loved me with all my fears and sought to offer relief for me. I know that he started praying for me too. And my spirit felt more at ease immediately. I even had a full night’s sleep, something that I thought would evade me when I was in my panic mode.

The next day when I was looking at our bank account online, the account balances page showed an incredibly high amount in our checking account. Surely this must be a big mistake! I opened the checking account to find that our IRS “bonus” check was electronically deposited to a tune of triple of what we expected, just enough to cover the present bills and the ones that will be coming in a month. I immediately called Mr. Right to tell him about this blessing, and I just started bawling. Once again, it was as if God said to me, “See? I know your heart, silly girl. Now quit your useless worrying and find something worthwhile to do. I’ve got everything under control. Just trust me.”

Throw in the fact that HE sold our house since the time I've written this post, and I can really see God smiling and shaking his head at me and my doubts. O me of little faith... I can only hope that God will continually help me in my unbelief.

So it’s for mercy and grace that I’m extremely thankful, not to mention God’s excellent sense of humor. When God says that he’s got it, He does, even if I can’t see it.

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