What The Girl Says

The Girl is really growing fast. Too fast if you ask me. How is it possible for an 11 year old to top me by a couple of inches?

Oh, yeah. I'm short. Well, as my mom said when I finally topped her at 14 years old, "Sha. It's no big deal. Three-fourth of the world is taller than me."

Great. Now I'm turning into my mother because I said the same thing to The Girl.

She's not only tall; she's funny too. Who'd have thought that those two things would go together? Hmph. You learn something new every day.

Thanks to Mr. Right, I receive mail from Republican offices because rather than put his name on a registration sheet, he put mine. Nothing says support like signing someone else to get the stuff. This time I received a letter from Laura Bush... to me... personally!

When the girl asked who the letter was from, I told her it was from the President's wife and that she knows me so well that she sent me a letter personally. See here? It has her photocopied name and all!

"Why would she send you anything, Mom?" she asked sarcastically.

"Since I'm so such a special friend to her, she sends me things all the time."

"Yeah, like a restraining order..." she said with a wiry little smile.

That made us bust out in laughter.

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The other day, I was belting out a song in the car. It was good and loud. At the end of the song, The Girl looks up to the front and says seriously, "Mom, I want to say something and I don't want you to laugh."

Me: OK. Go for it.
TG: I think you need to try out for American Idol next year.

I couldn't help it. I laughed.

TG: Mom! You said you wouldn't laugh! I mean it. You should try out for it next year! You're really good and you'd be a natural on stage! Quit laughing! Why are you laughing when I mean it?

Me: (trying to keep the laughter in check) Well, I love that you have that kind of faith in my singing, honey, but people who try out for American Idol have to have, you know, talent.

TG: But you do Mom!

Me: I have enough talent for this car and a small stage, but I don't think I have what it takes to be front and center. Besides, I'm too old.

TG: Mom, you're not too old. What does age have to do with anything when you sound really good.

Me: No, I mean that I'm past the American Idol age limit. I think they only take people up to 28 years of age. I'm well past that, babe.

TG: Well, that's just stupid. And you look 28 so that shouldn't matter. And I still say you should try out. And next time, don't laugh!

You see why I'm not in such a big hurry to have her leave? She's my in-house good feeling producer. Even if she'll tower over me.