Things I've Packed But Wish I'd Left Out

1. The camera cord to download pictures


2. Plastic leftover containers


3. Hydrogen Peroxide


4. Booze (I don't know what possessed me.)


5. T-shirts (I keep stealing Mr. Right's shirts)


6. Maple syrup


7. Writing paper


8. Mixing bowls


9. Drinking glasses


10. Bubble bath


11. Certain spices
12. Band-aids
13. Books

And I seem to have packed up my sanity in one of the boxes last weekend too!

What The Girl Says

The Girl is really growing fast. Too fast if you ask me. How is it possible for an 11 year old to top me by a couple of inches?

Oh, yeah. I'm short. Well, as my mom said when I finally topped her at 14 years old, "Sha. It's no big deal. Three-fourth of the world is taller than me."

Great. Now I'm turning into my mother because I said the same thing to The Girl.

She's not only tall; she's funny too. Who'd have thought that those two things would go together? Hmph. You learn something new every day.

Thanks to Mr. Right, I receive mail from Republican offices because rather than put his name on a registration sheet, he put mine. Nothing says support like signing someone else to get the stuff. This time I received a letter from Laura Bush... to me... personally!

When the girl asked who the letter was from, I told her it was from the President's wife and that she knows me so well that she sent me a letter personally. See here? It has her photocopied name and all!

"Why would she send you anything, Mom?" she asked sarcastically.

"Since I'm so such a special friend to her, she sends me things all the time."

"Yeah, like a restraining order..." she said with a wiry little smile.

That made us bust out in laughter.

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The other day, I was belting out a song in the car. It was good and loud. At the end of the song, The Girl looks up to the front and says seriously, "Mom, I want to say something and I don't want you to laugh."

Me: OK. Go for it.
TG: I think you need to try out for American Idol next year.

I couldn't help it. I laughed.

TG: Mom! You said you wouldn't laugh! I mean it. You should try out for it next year! You're really good and you'd be a natural on stage! Quit laughing! Why are you laughing when I mean it?

Me: (trying to keep the laughter in check) Well, I love that you have that kind of faith in my singing, honey, but people who try out for American Idol have to have, you know, talent.

TG: But you do Mom!

Me: I have enough talent for this car and a small stage, but I don't think I have what it takes to be front and center. Besides, I'm too old.

TG: Mom, you're not too old. What does age have to do with anything when you sound really good.

Me: No, I mean that I'm past the American Idol age limit. I think they only take people up to 28 years of age. I'm well past that, babe.

TG: Well, that's just stupid. And you look 28 so that shouldn't matter. And I still say you should try out. And next time, don't laugh!

You see why I'm not in such a big hurry to have her leave? She's my in-house good feeling producer. Even if she'll tower over me.

The Techies? They're Quicker Than I Thought...

Well as far as I'm concerned, you can teach old dogs new tricks... For example, here is the last Tech Support incident that I submitted on work last Friday.

Problem Description - [(Shalee) -- 05/23/08 10:07 AM] My printer has checked out for the long weekend already...

Although you and I know that the holiday weekend doesn't officially start until 5 PM tonight, my printer has decided to leave early. I imagine that it's thinking of all the techno-partying it's going to do while we're out grilling and relaxing, and who could blame it? I could see how the printer would like to hook up to the scanner when it gets a chance. I know that I get a little more festive when my boss is gone... However, I'm still here, and I still need it to work until I call it quitting time. Would you please talk some sense into my machine? I need it to stick with me until my day is done. (I'm all for leaving early, but the printer can't go until I go!)

[Close Description][Closed by McCormick, Douglas -- 05/23/08 11:02 AM]

Turned the printer off and on and it reconnected to the Network and started printing all of her recipes.

Did you catch that? The technician totally copped a joke and poked fun at me all at the same time. Oh, they're alearnin' there. They're alearnin'! (And for the record, Doug told me that I would have been helped even sooner, but the team had to quit laughing first. Now that's the way to start a 3-day weekend!)

Another Giveaway That I Don't Really Want YOU To Win

So since I'm all about trying to win free good stuff (Target gift card from Blogged-In, A&E Romantic Classics from everyone - but most presently Barb), I might as well tell you about the Netflix giveaway at Kelli's place, Living In Grace. She's giving away a mighty fun prize.

"I'm giving away FOUR! FREE! starter memberships to Netflix. You will get a one month subscription to Netflix, and can rent up to three movies at any time. So, if you play your cards right, you could watch between TWELVE! and SIXTEEN! movies FREE! at home.

But wait! there's more!
Netflix also lets you watch movies on your computer! Instantly!

But wait! There's even MORE!
The winners will recieve a Movie Goodies Box from me, full of yummy treats to indulge in while watching their movies! (To win, you will need to be willing to trust me with your physical address).

Word on the street is that you shouldn't trust her at all. I'm just sayin'...

I don't want to tell you because I'm stinkin' selfish and I'd love to watch some of may favorites-but-I-don't-own-them movies, but really, it's worth the 10 extra entries to hope that you'll enter and then "forget" to tell others because you want to win too.

Hmmm, I was just thinking... I wish that someone would have a Colonix giveaway. I think my chances would be MUCH greater at winning that kind of prize because I'm probably the only one who would want to win something like that...

Do I Have To Share?

I really don't want to tell you this little tidbit of information because it will decrease my chances of winning... But I'm also striving to be less selfish, so this will make a great start.

So you wanna chance to win a cold hard gift card to Target? Then head on over to Blogged-In Network to see how you too could pay for your daughter's new tennis shoes. And some new shorts for her ever-growing body. And a new swim trunk for your son. (So you see, I wasn't completely self-centered. I'm pretend spending it on my kids. That has to count for something.)

If you win and I don't, just remember that my kids may be going commando next year. You're welcome.

WFMW - Second Glances

Seeing how I recently wrote about my eyesight, I thought this was very appropriate to post today.

I received an email from a friend yesterday.

Shalee,

I am getting a kick out of your memory blogs! I'm not sure if you watched MTV when your parents weren't looking, but Bowling for Soup has a song called 1985 and you should totally watch the video...especially if you watched music videos in the 80's! I really enjoy checking out the music you've selected for the years. Many of the songs were featured on Miami Vice (1985 & 86) as I have found a site that has old episodes online! Hope you and Mr. Right are doing great!

-- Chris

After reading it, I replied with this:

Well, ummm, I’m glad that it’s making you sick?! You might want to have a bowl around for the next few Mondays…

I’ll have to check out the Bowling for Soup song. I’ve heard it, but I’ve not seen the video. (Yeah, I was an 80’s video watcher – back when they were great videos and not soft porn. I have to tell you, I never watched Miami Vice. That was such a guys show and it never, ever interested me. But at least it had great music!

We’re great here. Hope all is well with you too!

Shalee

Sometime later I happen to glance at his original email and then sent out the following to him:

Hey Chris… I have to tell you that I thought the first line read I’m getting SICK of your memory blogs… Perhaps I need glasses after all! So ignore the first paragraph of the last email I sent you!

To which he responded:

I don't care who you are, THAT'S FUNNY! I would never let you know if I was sick of your blogs! That's just too rude! It's just fun looking back and you hear a song and instantly you remember where you were in life when that song came out. I'm glad you got to watch some MTV when you were young. You for sure need to see the Bowling For Soup Video now as it totally spoofs Robert Palmer, Michael Jackson, Run DMC, George Michael, etc. Hope you have a great week!

So my advice is to either read your mail carefully or don't tell the world the day before that you're thankful for the fabulous eyesight that you have. It could come back to bite you later.

Want some really good tips? Head to Shannon's for some words of wisdom. For some words of wisdom.

Dear Drivers

Dear Sirs and Madams of any and all vehicles:  

I would like to share my noted observations for several of you who "share" the road with me.

1. While I may not pay as many taxes as you do, Mr. Hummer or Mrs. BMW, I still do pay them.  Therefore, the road is mine as well as yours.  Please cease and desist from acting as if you are the sole owner of the pavement.
2. Mr. Explorer, when you bob and weave in traffic every morning, making dangerous lane switches and causing those behind you to slam on the brakes, you do not in fact get any further down the road than I do.  On most mornings, I catch up to you at the lights.  I just thought you should know that.  It might help you to calm down and to realize that we all eventually get there in time.
3. I'd like to give a Shout Out to every single driver that wouldn't allow me to switch lanes when I sat there with my blinker on behind a stalled vehicle, waiting for someone to slow down and show kindness rather than speed up.  Those were a good three minutes, I'm telling you.  You really were showing some driver love then.  Thanks.
4. Mrs. Morning Mascara Applier:  Ummm, don't.
5. Mr. Black-Smoke-Coming-Out-Of-My-Muffler:  Please get your vehicle off the road and into a shop for repairs.  It smells awful, the other drivers sometimes have a hard time seeing, and I know that you're not doing wonders for the environment.  Please, please, please get that fixed.
6. Mr. Caddy, I think everyone who is capable should be able to drive.  However, if you cannot at least drive within 10 miles of the speed limit, would you please delay your driving time until after the bulk of rush hour is pass?  You sweet thing, I, as well as your fellow commuters,really would appreciate making it to work on time.  Thank you!
7. Mr. Ride My Tush, since you can't seem to make a correlation of my reaction to your driving, let me just say for the record that when you ride closely to me trying to get me to hurry for your benefit, you bring out the ornery in me.  Every. Single. Time you drive so closely to me, I will match the speed of the car next to me, even the speed of the aforementioned Mr. Caddy.  The reaction on your face is worth this juvenile behavior on my part.  (The funny thing is that I would totally make it so you could get by if you wouldn't follow so closely.  I thought I would just let you know.)
8. Mr. and Mrs. I-Must-Be-First, when there is a road that has two lanes and it merges into one, it is common courtesy to allow the drivers in the merging lane to be added to your lane.  It is not illegal for the other drivers to be in that lane and those drivers are not out to get you.  They just want to merge as the road indicates.  Please stop speeding up and not allowing drivers to merge.  It's nothing personal to you.  I promise.
9. To every single talking-on-the-cell-phone-while-driving driver, if you cannot do both safely, please either refrain from chatting or pull over to finish your discussion.  I'm tired of having to practice my defensive driving skills around you all... and there are many!  Oh and when you do use your cell, please understand that your hands are for driving, not for talking.  Your caller can't see your gestures, in case you didn't know.  You're welcome.
10. BLINKER!  Hello?  Anyone?  Beuller?  Beuller?  Beuller?
11. Oh and on that note, just because you turn on your blinker, you do not have the right to move over immediately.  You must look first, and if it is open, then you can switch lanes.  By "open", I do not mean one car space; I mean ample room.  The two blinks of your yellow tail light does not give me enough time to slow down nor does it give you the right to cause an accident.  I'd like to remind you that you have a thing called a brake on your car.  There will be times when you will need to use it.  This would be one of them.  Thank you.
12. Mrs. I-don't-have-a-car-seat-for-my-child, please get one.  You create more worry by trying to deal with your jumping toddler in the backseat.  And I'm not only talking about the times that you swerve into my lane.  I'm talking about safety here, for us and for your child.
13. To all cigarette smokers:  Your window is not a trash can.  Please refrain from flicking your cigarette butts out the window, especially when they're still hot.  Please use your ashtray and empty it later.  If your car doesn't have an ashtray, please add one to your vehicle.  Thank you.
14. To Mrs. Sing Along: We're driving sisters, do you know that?  I was right there with you with the "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" production we did in our cars.  I was right there with you.  See you on the stage tomorrow, same time, same station.
15. To Miss-Change-Her-Clothes-At-The-Stoplight who sat in the car behind me:  Dude!  You have brought back some great high school memories for me!  So that's what I looked like as I shimmied into my jeans...  Thanks for waiting for the red light.  I totally was hoping that it would be enough time for you, and it was.  You were getting your last sneaker on as it was time to move our cars.  Sweet!  May you be blessed with many more ample moments should you find yourself needing to pull a Superman...

Sincerely,

Shalee

What would you tell other drivers if given a chance?  I know I missed some stuff that probably needs to be said...

My 15 Minutes of Almost Fame

So I had another one of my dreams last night.

This dream was great because I went to spend some Girl Time with BooMama in Alabama.  And boy, did we have all sorts of excitement!

First off, Sophie had been remodeling her house.  She was just taking the crow bar side of a hammer and pulling up beautiful wood floors.  There were sections of her house where you could see way down (like 20 ft) to the next floor and on the lower level she had done the same thing in another area to where you could see in the basement.  But she was doing it in such a way that it looked like a modern art piece, really unique and inviting, despite the fact that you could fall to your death.

(Now before y'all start telling me that there are no basements in the South, let me remind you that I grew up in the South and already know this bit of housing information.  When I met Mr. Right, decided that I couldn't live without him and that I just had to get married to him because, gosh... I really did want to have his babies, I moved to Nebraska.  Where they have basements.  I had to ask him what that area was called and was it really safe to go down to a room below a house.  He gave me a strange look, took me by the hand and led me down there.  I think he was sweet because he wanted me to have his babies too...)

Anyway there was a basement.  But it's a dream and you can do weird/neat things in dreams as you will see.

So while Sophie is remodeling her floors, she looks up and decides to pull a few boards that lined her staircase... which was exactly where David, Alex and The Boy were relaxing.  Those kooky boys.   They were all calm, peaceful and still.  This is where I should have realized I was in a dream - no movement from The Boy is a rarity.  They all paid no mind to Soph because this was life with her, and what can you do?  (The Boy looked a little leery, but he's used to some sort of kookiness all his life.)  

We were all wondering if BooMama had gone a little wacky after her return from Africa;  stress was getting to her and we were just going to let her do what she needed to do to work her way through her emotions.  If she needed to take apart her house the way she's taking apart her life and put it back together where she could live in it, all the better.  Somehow we all knew that it would be a better place to live when she was finally done.

Sophie then decided to call it quits after that so we went into the kitchen and she started filling up her flour containers.  Yes, containers.  They were big, too.  I asked her why she had such big containers and she said it was because she bought her flour in bulk because she needed it for all her baking.  Who was I to challenge that kind of wisdom?  Plus, I'm sure I would get some cake or something if I kept my mouth shut.

We went to bed.

Next day, we woke up to David settling the boys back into the stairway, but he was being real thoughtful.  He had laid the area with a king-sized bed sheet and was holding it around the boys while they laid there so that they wouldn't fall through the holes in the wall.  Wasn't that sweet?

Sophie had invited a couple of friends to go with us on our adventure.  To be honest, I can't remember them except that one had long black hair and the other one was African American.  They were both really nice, but let's face it, even in my dream world it's all about me.

And our adventure?  Well, we all know how much of an outdoorsy person BooMama is, so we did one of her favorite things: we went for a long walk on some mountain trail which followed a nice big stream.  Big rocks, lots of sunshine and joy.  That's an adventure, I tell ya!

Coming back to the car, we realized that we had lost one of group.  It was the African American friend.  We split up looking for her.  As I was looking through the parking lot, I saw a young man who was singing and doing some sort of musical number with lots of dramatic hand movements and stage moves.  He was a cross between someone from Stomp and Corbin Bleu.  He was cute, young and energetic.  He looked at me and I did what I would have done in real life:  I joined in.  So while looking for my new friend, I was singing some song and holding my own in our two person scene.  It was cool and fun!

As I headed to the car, I saw that my new friend was learning to dance.  She was afraid to tell us that she couldn't dance, so she hired someone to teach and slipped away to have her lesson while we were on the trail.

Didn't she know that I'm as white as they come and I couldn't dance to save my life?  I'm pretty sure that I would have gotten an "Amen, sister!" from Sophie as further proof...  So I let her dance and headed back to the car to wait for her.

While waiting for the others to arrive, my musical partner came up to me, handed me a paper and pen and said, "I'm in lots of plays around here.  You need to write your name and info on here because when I get back, I'm going to tell my directors that they've got to hear you!"

As I looked down, the first line said "America's Model" and I looked up at him and laughed.  He had to be joking because I don't know of any 36 year old models with two kids, one of which is now taller than her.  I rolled my eyes at him and started to write my contact info (first name and phone number only guys... I'm not completely stupid and unconcerned for my safety!) when Sophie ran up to me and said, "Are you CRAZY?   You don't even live around here!"

I told her to hush up because this was my chance at doing something fun and ON STAGE and I wanted to see where it would go.  She started to poke me to get my attention.  I told her to knock it off because one can't write legibly when being poked.  Then I heard her say, "Mommy?"

And I woke to The Girl poking me and saying my name.

Sigh.  I was almost famous.  I just about had my chance to be somebody.  I coulda been a contenta.  Now I'm back to being a mom and short order cook.

Somehow this role fits me like a glove.  Waking up wasn't such a bad thing after all.  Well, if you don't count the fact that I didn't have a chance to get Sophie's favorite recipes for all things Southern and yummy, and we never get to her favorite Mexican restaurant.  Oh well, there's always tomorrow.  All I have to do is eat a couple more tacos with onions, and I'll just see where they take me. 

And God Laughed...

Who ever said the Creator doesn't have a sense of humor?

Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down.

The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke. The tree went 'boing!' and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of sight.

The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No, nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, 'Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,' and went on about his business.

A few days later he was at the grocery store and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food.

This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, 'Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?'

She replied, 'You won't believe this,' and then told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing.

Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, 'Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it.' She told the pastor, 'I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her.'

Never underestimate the power of God and his unique sense of humor!

Happy Friday y'all!

A Conversation With Susanne

In an effort to keep you updated about Susanne, I thought I would just share our email exchanges.  Hopefully you'll enjoy them as much as we did.

Oh, and you'll know who's who by the lack of capitol letters on Susanne's part!

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your house looks awesome. praying it's going to be a real quick sale.

i'm doing much better today. yesterday was pretty hard. i had two shots of either demerol or morphine [can't remember which ;v}] in the recovery and 2 percocets when i got back to my room. needless to say they let me sleep awhile. lol. through all the drug fog though it still hurt like heck. i tried to describe it to dave and the best i could come up with was that it was a crushing pressure kind of pain like a semi truck had rolled over my hand.

anyway praise God. thank you for prayers. today is a thousand times better. i'm just hanging out reading and watcing tv and hopefully i won't have to take too many tylenol 3's. i have a longer and stiffer splint and will get some kind of orthopedic plastic cast next week.

thanks so much for everything. you don't have to write all this info if you do'nt want. i just thought i'd let you know what's going on. love ya.

susanne

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Thanks Susanne. The prayers are appreciated.

Oh girl… so you feel like you’ve been hit by a Mack truck. Ugh. I’m sorry the drugs aren’t easing your pain so that you don’t feel it. But it sounds as if they had you on quite the cocktail! I’m praising God that you’re alive, that you have medical care and that most of all, you still have a sense of humor through it all.

I’ll do an update again because we all love you and want to know what we can do to help you though we’re so many miles away.

Love you!

Shalee

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well i feel pretty darn good today. it was yesterday that was horrid. my hand is hardly hurting at the moment just uncomfortable because it's swollen it makes the bandaging quite snug. i can take tylenol 3 if pain starts up and that seems to really help. the itcing is a pain in the kazoo but i'm going to locate my little dowel here real quick so i can get under the badaging in some spots anyway.

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Oh girl just you be careful! Right before going to college one summer, I broke my wrist. (What a horrible way to start college, with a cast around my arm!) Anyway, first day of Music Lit, my arm started itching like crazy, so I pulled out my 6” ruler and scratched away. Ahhh… Imagine my surprise when I moved my ruler back and forth only to find that my hand was empty. My ruler was stuck in my cast! Ack. So I started shaking my cast up and down, hoping it would work its way out. Others, who mind you I had not talked with anyone yet, were staring at me in wonder and amusement. Finally, FINALLY, the stupid thing came out after much digging and praying and being laughable. So what I’m saying is maybe you should try to scratch with a yard stick. :)

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lol lol lol. laughter is the best medicine right? too too funny. and why is it i can totally see that happening to you?

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Oh because that kind of stuff happens to me ALL THE TIME… and I’m not even trying to get attention. (Unlike all the other times when I am.)

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life with you is never dull, apparently. lol.

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Oh Susanne, you have no idea how much Mr. Right would agree with you on that one...

Where's My Membership to AARP?

This past weekend, God blessed us with fantastic weather - weather that would permit us to finally get some things done around the outside of the house.  Which was really good since we're aiming to get the house on the market this week.

So, taking advantage of the warmer days, I gathered the kids to bag the leaves that I would rake.  (What?  You don't wait until almost Spring to finish raking the leaves?  Oh, well, welcome to the upside down world of Shalee.  We raked all but half of the backyard last fall, then overnight the cold weather came to stay for several months.  This was our first opportunity to take care of it.)

Anyway, after raking a bit, my left foot developed a really painful cramp, one that started by my toes and worked it's way across the bottom of my foot.  It hurt so much that I gasped and my breathing became more labored.  After a couple of moments, the pain receded a bit, but only enough to travel to the other foot too.

"But I'm a mom, and I have to get things done while I can.  I can still do this!" I kept that encouragement running through my head.  Mercy!  It hurt... and I really wish that I had a recording of what I looked like.  I was contorting myself in all sorts of position to ease the pain while still raking.  I would have laughed at myself if I could have seen myself stretched to the max while still gathering leaves together.

My kids, not ones to miss much, inquired what I was doing.  I said, "I don't know what's going on but my foot really hurts!"

And my son, as sweet as could be and with profound wisdom, stated, "That's because you're getting old, Mom."

Man oh man...  if I was having those cramps because I'm getting old, then I don't dare tell him how I feel after shoveling and spreading mulch for 4 hours.  He'll tell me that death's knocking on my door.

It's Official...

We have a momentous day in our house.  

A day that has already been noted on the calendar.

A day that caused much celebration and smiles of glee.

A day that I knew would be here soon enough...

Today is the day that The Girl is taller than me.

I can't tell you how many time she has come up to me doing the hand measure test... or the back-to-back test... or the "Come stand by me in front of this mirror" test.  She's all smiles and happiness right now.

Yeah, well...  She may be taller, but I've still got 20 pounds on her.  Hah!  Beat that, The Girl.

At least I'm still a half a head taller than The Boy, though I know that won't last long either.  (But he too has me beat in one department... I also officially have the smallest feet around here.)

Please send condolences... and chocolate.  I could use both today.

Finding the I in iPod

I saw this iPod meme at Clare's Dad.

I love how Darren describes this particular meme. "In this one, you use your iPod to generate random answers to questions. It’s kind of like Mad Libs meets the Magic 8 Ball."  That's just brilliant.  Not to mention that he got Clare to watch a bit of Star Wars by telling her that it had a princess in it.  That man is a parenting genius is what I'm thinking...

Here are the instructions:

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.
4. NO CHEATING.  

(I answered these while sitting next to Mr. Right.  He will completely testify to the accuracy of the answers.  Mr. Right?

Mr. Right: She wasn't cheating.

Me: Thanks, Babycakes!)

I'm including my thoughts by some of the answers because to be honest, this meme had me giggling like crazy all the way through it.)

Q: What does next year have in store for you?
A: Take On Me by a-ha (If I have enough time and energy, you got it.)

Q: What does your love life look like next year?
A: Stranger To Myself by Jude Cole (Oh how true that will be!)

Q: What do you say when life gets hard?
A: I'll Dream Of You Again by Harry Connick, Jr. 

Q: Song that reminds you of good times?
A: Vibeology by Paula Abdul (Awkward, yet fitting)

Q: What do you think when you get up in the morning?
A: Who Am I by Casting Crown (Seriously, this one had me giggling enough that Mr. Right had to ask what it was that was making me laugh.)

Q: What song will you dance to at your wedding?
A: Painter Song by Norah Jones (The funny thing is that Mr. Right was an art professor when I married him.  He loved to draw, sculpt and - you got it - paint. Appropriate, no?

Q: Song that reminds you of your first kiss?
A: Mony Mony by Billy Idol (First dance more likely...)

Q: Your favorite saying?
A: All I Need by Jack Wagner (is a pay raise, is a nap, is a day to stay home and read, is a little more faith, is to lose a couple of pounds, is a date with Mr. Right - the list could go on and on... I really need to learn to be content.)

Q: Favorite place?
A: Mystify by INXS

Q: Most Missed Memory?
A: Water Music: Allegro-Andante-Da capo- Allegro No. 3 by George Frideric Handel (Strangely enough, I love this music.  I truly wish I could have been around when it was presented for the first time.)

Q: What song describes your best friend?
A: If It Don't Take Two by Shania Twain (HA!  It thought it fit.)

Q: What song describes your ex?
A: Here Comes the Big Parade by Harry Connick, Jr.

Q: Where would you go on a first date?
A: Let's Just Kiss by Harry Connick, Jr. (If that's not appropriate for my first date with Mr. Right, then I don't know what was!)

Q: Drug of choice?
A: The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and The News (Amen.)

Q: What song describes yourself?
A: How Great Thou Art by Hugh Robertson (I actually cried a bit from all the laughter that ensued from this answer.  I think it's a great answer, if I do say so myself.  Of course, You're So Vain by Carly Simon probably would have fit just as well.)

Q: What is the thing you like doing most?
A: Any Man of Mine by Shania Twain (reread this answer very slowly...  It made me hoot and holler a bit more than the previously Q & A...  Golly is that ever the most perfect answer!)

Q: The song that best describes the president?
A: Dive by Steven Curtis Chapman 

Q: Where will you be in 10 years?
A: King of Wishful Thinking by Go West (Much like I am now... I can't see that changing in the next 10 years.)

Q: Your love life right now?
A: Better Days by Faith Hill (Mr. Right looked at that song and said, "How sad!"  I looked at it and said, "Well, I read it as saying that you make them better days with you in them."  He liked the answer then.)

Q: What is your state of mind like at the moment?
A: Blue In Green by Miles Davis (I can't tell you how pleased I am with that abstract answer of a song.)

Q: How will you die?
A: Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of by U2 (Won't we all be. Won't we all.)

I have to tell you, this meme was probably the one with which I've had the most fun.  I tag you all!  Just let me know if you play along so that I can laugh at the way your iPod has you pegged too.

March Of The Penguins

Look what came waltzing into our yard this weekend...





This one loves to eat fish... and pizza, loaded potato soup, chocolate chip cookies, asparagus, chili, fried chicken, kiwi, taco salad, roast and veggies, mandarin orange broccoli chicken, pickled beets, german cabbage, grapefruit, cornbread, homemade mac & cheese, cajun rice, espinaca and chips, roulade, lasagna, chicken enchiladas, cantaloupe, clam chowder, lima beans, hamburgers, tuna casserole, shrimp and noodles, hawaiian pork, chicken pot pie, stir fry, moo goo gai pan, steak, baked potatoes, strawberry chicken, quesadillas, grilled zucchini, watermelon, yogurt, guacamole, crab legs, yams, garlic string green beans, spicy thai chicken pasta, cinnamon rolls and, of course, sushi.

But not brussel sprouts.  Smart penguin, that one.

The penguin's brother? Not so much. Studies showed that if the food was green (except the kiwi) or if it has any look of being "different", it creates a sneering reflex before he ever sits at the table.

Yeah, he goes to bed hungry every now and then.

Saved By Computer Woes

Really, I don't know why that post published twice. Maybe Blogger is feeling a bit sorry for me and decided to give y'all double the fun... And I don't want to get rid of the first one because there's a great comment on it. So, for now, it stays.

It's rainy here. I'm tired. It would have been a perfect day for staying home, curling up with a good book and a cup of tea, and reading all the blogs that I want to read. Now that I think about it, wouldn't everyday be a good day for that?

Yeah, I need that job.

Speaking of job, as I'm sitting here in a Chinese food-induced coma, I figure that I would (hopefully) give Kelli another post on which to smile.

I hope she knows that every IT request I submit, I submit with her in mind. Especially if she's reading this drivel at 2 in the morning...

Submit (Incident # - ID1461275 ) Hallelujah! My scanning program has converted...

Problem Description - [(Shalee) -- 01/10/08 12:02 PM]

I noticed a change in my scanning program about a month ago, back when it was hanging out with some men with pamphlets and the Scanning Bible. Not long after this time, it left for a tent revival and it came back saving in a whole new way. Before this sudden conversion, it used to offer me all sorts of options as to how to save scanned documents, but now it only sees one way of being saved - through a tif. No other way is available in its mind's eye now. It's either a tif or else you go straight to h - e - double toothpicks. No PDF, no Word Document,
nothing. This is causing some complications between me and my fellow degenerates in this business world who can't open files eye to eye.

Would you please give my scanning program a good talking? I'm not saying it has to give up tiffs entirely. Everyone's entitled to their own viewpoints. But I need some flexibility or else I'm going to prove to it that there's a devil here who wishes she could wear Prada. Don't
let that fool you; I can be just as mean in Ann Taylor too.

I received a call in minutes regarding my problem. Ray laughed and said, "(Your IT requests) make me cry, Shalee. I mean that in a really good way."

Upon his fixing the problems (I don't know what he did, but I watched him open all sorts of windows and click all sorts of things. I know - I'm an IT wizard, aren't I?)

His closing description to my submittal?

Work Description - [Close Description]
[Closed by Ray -- 01/10/08 01:26 PM]
the devil received prada - thus working correctly now

Did you notice what I noticed?  I think I'm doing good deeds all over the company when our IT department responds with humor in kind.  And the angels in heaven rejoiced!

Merry Christmas And I Hope Santa Brings Me One Of These...

(Cue piano bar music)

(In a hushed, calm voice, like one remembering Christmastimes past)

My favorite Christmas song is one that is not usually sung around the Christmas tree. However, it is one that I usually love to sing with full emotions and spirit... with feeling, if you will. I hope that it is one that my children will learn and pass on to their children to come.

No other song that I know of will leave you feeling... well, something, for the special gift-wishing of Christmas. I, too, want this pretty little dolly. I am still hopeful that I will get one this year.

Now, without further adeiu, I give to you Mona Abboud's "Pretty Little Dolly."

May Santa bring you everything your little heart desires too.

(fade to black)

Originally published December 22, 2005

RIP, Santa and Friends

These belong to our neighbors down the street.  They expand across several lawns, this year adding two more to the ever-widening display...

I told them it was overkill, but would they listen to me?  Nooooooo...

Now look what they did to the poor neighbor's yard who lives across the street.  

Let us all have a moment of silence.

Blondes On Ice

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.

The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.

Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

All out of breath , the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says...

"Hi, my name is Kevin, its winter in MISSOURI and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

Have a great weekend!

The Switch

The other night as I was falling into bed, half dead to the world, Mr. Right said out of the blue, "I think we should switch up our marriage."

Screech!!!   Suddenly sleep didn't seem so close to coming as I swiveled my head and emoted a Tim Allen "Huuunh?"  In a matter of nanoseconds, these questions entered my mind.

What on earth does this man mean?  Switch up our marriage?  That's as confusing as the Presidential Primaries...  

Switch what?  Aren't we just fine and dandy in our marriage?  I don't know what he means, but I'm not going through that whole "find someone who will love me despite my many faults" process.  That's just pain waiting to happen.

As I was trying to get my brain to wrap around what he had just said, Mr. Right clarified, "Shalee, would you switch sides of the bed with me?  I can't play with your hair as you fall asleep while I'm on the laptop if you're on the right.  If you're on the left, then my hand is free to touch you while I work."

Sigh.  That man is too good to me.  And I really have to stop jumping to conclusions before that man finishes his half of the conversation.   Let me say for the record that the left is my new favorite side of the bed.  I did fall asleep to my man brushing his fingers through my hair.

Now, if only someone could clarify the Presidential hopefuls words as easily...

Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged

Don't forget about the GIVEAWAY that is going on until Saturday, December 8th.  You can read about it here.

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I had a great little laugh over these.  Maybe you will too...

Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged

1. Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?
2. Amnesia - I Don't Remember If I'll Be Home for Christmas
3. Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
4. Manic - Deck The Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets andStores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Treesand Fire Hydrants and...........
5. Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Queens Disoriented Are
6. Paranoid - Santa Claus Is Coming to Get Us
7. Borderline Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll Not Tell You Why
8. Full Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire
9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, JingleBells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, JingleBells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
10. Agoraphobia - I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House
11. Senile Dementia - Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from MyHouse in My Slippers and Robe
12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder - I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus SoI Burned Down the House
13. Social Anxiety Disorder - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
14. Attention Deficit Disorder - We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!!