A Session On The Couch
Thank you all for your wonderful support yesterday. You know I'm feeling a bit sheepish after reading all the encouraging comments that basically told me 1) I'm not alone in my feelings, 2) I am indeed loved and 3) I should just step back and enjoy being myself and let God do the rest. I like that, especially the last part.
Thus ends the pity party. But hey, it was fun while it lasted. Next time I'll add some rocking 80's music and some chips and dip. We might as well get some great social time in while we're all here...
And now, back to our regularly scheduled post.
Dreams are the funniest things. They can take aspects of your life, either from the present or the past, and melt them all together into a messy glob of idiocy, humor or fright.
Take my dream last night for example:
It was a big day at my in-laws house (although I wasn't married in the dream). I was to be part of the swing set synchronized swinging team later that morning and the house was in full high energy. High energy around me really meant emotional, but hey, it was all good.
My old boyfriend from high school came into the kitchen, joking and laughing. And then he turns to me to ask me to marry him, in front of God and everyone - my parents included. (Funny how in the dream I didn't answer him. But I liked that he asked me.)
A few moments later when my emotions were running high (remember was getting ready for the biggest day of my life with the swing set synchronized swinging event of the year, not to mention that I had just been asked to be someone's wife), he asked if I were pregnant or something. I stared at him and then looked at my parents' faces, which were busily fixing something - anything - else. Mortified that he asked such an intimate-type question in front of my folks, I asked why in heaven's name he thought I would be pregnant. He replied, "Well you're just so emotional. How am I suppose to know what's going on with you?"
I calmly (It's a dream, remember? You can do things right in a dream.) replied, "Well Lance, you actually have to have sex in order to get pregnant, don't you think?," knowing that we hadn't been sexually active and I was still a virgin. (It's good to know that my values can hold strong even in my dreams! But I have to tell you that in my dream I actually thought that if we were the sex-before-marriage type, he so wouldn't be getting any for quite a while after that remark!)
Next thing I know I'm on the swing set, which strangely enough, looks like the swing sets at the boy's school. The day is beautiful, the crowds have gathered, the reporters are clicking pictures and jotting down details. The synchronized swing set swingers are all dressed in solid colors, each a different color, just like the Fantanas!
I'm dressed in orange, from my head to my toes: My hair is in an orange scrunchie, I'm wearing an orange t-shirt with a darling orange tight skirt, and my toes are adorned with orange socks with really darling orange canvas tennis shoes. (I'm sorry Big Mama. Obviously, your fashion advice doesn't transfer to the dream world.) The young girl next to me looks like a little round lime, so I'm glad I chose orange. Antique Mommy is on the team too, but she's not dressed in a color. I get the feeling that she's the team coach. (Sorry you've been made part of this AM; I couldn't help it...)
The announcer began talking about our goals and some of the members, and I noted that every time my name was mentioned it was pronounced incorrectly. Then our sponsors talk and they butcher it just as brutally. Finally they give the mic to each of the team members, and when I get it, I hammed it up and introduce myself correctly, pointedly turning to each of the offending speakers and giving them a "see that isn't so hard now, is it?" look. The audience ripples with laughter at my obvious wit and ease; I was a born natural, I tell you. Life on stage awaited my beck and call.
I started to thank my family for all their wonderful support, but they're sitting in a white church van, just waiting for the entire thing to be over. My supposed boyfriend, who mind you had just proposed (so is he my fiance at that point?) but in the next breath basically called me extremely loose with my sexual favors in front of my parents, was sitting in the middle by the big window next to my dad, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and waving eagerly. (As if I would be happy to see him after being called a brazen hussy!) Photographers were snapping pictures, so I walked to the van to tell my mom, who at that very moment was arguing with my grandmother, that the photographers wanted to take her and Grandma's picture, but she said that they might as well get a natural shot, and then she went back to arguing with Grandma.
And then I woke up.
So Freud... what do you think the dream means? What's you're take on this vision in my sleep?
I'll tell you what I think. I think that if I want to have some more crazy dreams, then I'm going to have to eat more Chocolate Fudge ice cream right before going to bed.