Monday, February 13, 2006

My Wife's _________ Has A Funny Little Thing On It.

This weekend we went to a Valentine’s Party for Adults Only.

So no, it didn't mean what you just thought. Get your mind out of the gutter!

By Adults Only, it meant "Don’t even think about bringing your kids. Leave the offspring at home, let others hold a conversation without kids interrupting every other sentence, and have a date for goodness sakes! "

We had desserts and coffee, some good mingling and, for the pièce-de-résistance, we played “The Newlywed Game.” You know, that game that use to be on TV ages ago with host Bob Eubanks, newly-married couples answered questions to find out how well the husband and wife knew each other. Only in our cases we were the Not-So-Newlywed Couples because most of us had been married at least 10 years.

One thing I learned about the game, Mr. Right and I still don’t know everything about each other… and neither do the other couples. Oh, and when you answer a question correctly, it is fun to kiss your spouse. When someone doesn't answer correctly, the arguing after the question is more entertaining than a correct answer!

The women were sent away and the guys had to answer some questions. (Each of those were worth 5 points each.)
  • If the President was coming to dinner, what dish would she fix?
  • If your husband passed away, what would be the first thing of his that you’d get rid of?
  • Of these four choices, which one would your husband absolutely not do: A) tattoo B) hair plugs C) body piercing or D) face lift?

I got one right. I would fix roulade for the President. Although I don’t like the leather chairs, I would definitely get rid of the mammoth workout center in the basement first, and it was a toss up between the face lift and the hair plugs. I guessed the wrong one.

Then the guys had to leave and we were given some fun questions. (10 points each)

  • Who would your husband say is the better catch- you or him?

(All but one couple got this one right. The wife said the husband would say it was him because he was so cocky, but every husband who knew how to earn brownie points picked the wife. It was fun to watch that discussion!)

  • If you were to name a reality show after your marriage it would be called what: A) American Idol B) Survivor C) Fear Factor or D) Punk’d?

(Mr. Right guessed correctly – Survivor, but I had to admit, Fear Factor was in the running!)

  • What would you say is your husband’s most unusual habit?

(That’s such an open ended question!!! Does that mean weird, annoying or bad? And really, I had such a hard time thinking of one. Needless to say, we didn’t win this one. Mr. Right said his sleep talking/sleep walking – his reactions to allergies; I put that he can’t remember words to songs, but he could give you the tune of the songs instead. But what I really should have picked now that I think about it is the fact that I will tell him something, and sometime later he will ask a question requesting the very information I already gave him. The man has got to listen to me! Ummm, but that’s for another blog…) Let me just say that we all learned some things about some men that we really didn’t need to know…

  • For the Bonus Question (25 points), Name the closest street that intersects your house's street.

It is amazing how many people can’t name the streets around their house. But Mr. Right knew.

Believe it or not, Mr. Right and I squeaked into the finals with 50 point. I’m not sure this was a good thing because the next questions were hard! The slates were wiped clean and we tried it again.

Husband’s questions that the wives had to answer: (5 points again)

  • Which answer will your wife say describes herself: “I am smarter than I look or I look smarter than I am?”

(He got it right. I picked the first one.)

  • What is your wife’s all time favorite TV show?

(Right again… Moonlighting. It was so goofy! I loved the Taming of the Shrew one - "Atomic Shakespeare".)

  • My wife’s ______ has a funny little thing on it.

(No way I could answer that one… too many to choose from! Do I choose my face for the makeup under my eyes, my tummy for the C-section scar, my shirt for the food surely to have fallen on it? He said arm for my Orion’s belt freckles, but really it’s on my leg. My daughter said I should have said my blog. That made me feel really good!)

We had some toughies on the Wives round. (10 points again)

  • What would your husband say is his dream job?

(I got it right… If he had his dithers, he would be a missionary… The guy to answer next asked, “Now how am I supposed to answer after that? No matter what I say, I’ll look bad!”)

  • What song would your husband say would describe your first date: A) Sea of Love, B) Maneater, C) Our Lips Are Sealed or D) Cold as Ice?

(We each picked A since at the end of our date, Mr. Right said these words, “Well, when you know, you know.” I didn’t know as soon as he did, but it was a great date none the less!)

  • How many basins would your husband say are in your house?

(Most of the husband didn’t even know what a basin was let alone how many are in the house! I put five; Mr. Right guessed five. We got it right, but we were both wrong – there are 6 altogether. Lucky break!)

  • For the bonus question (25 points): How much would your husband say was your first month’s rent after you were married?

(We were blessed by my parents-in-awe, they let us live in their unoccupied house for a few years without a rent payment.)

When the points were tallied, we had won the game! We had won a nice gift certificate to a restaurant. You know what that means…

Another Adults Only night, but this time it will be just the two of us. And our own list of questions for each other…

Maybe a few “Whoopee” questions thrown in for fun…


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