My Company's Tech Help Desk

A real incident I submitted today:

Problem: Scanner has gone all hormonal on me.

Problem Description: Although this scanner has been given lots of attention in the past, and it started to work when tweeked, it has decided to act like a teenager; by that I mean it is ignoring me, then pretending like it will do what I ask and then doing nothing. This attitude has been extended to others in the office as well, so I am not the only one to whom it is not paying attention.

Please give it some good old disciplining before a take a back hand to it, or a good swift kick to its panel.

Now wouldn't you love to be the person who gets that on a Friday? Wouldn't that make you at least smile? Think of all the boring requests they get: Printer won't work. Program is not responding. I need ____ installed to complete my tasks. BORING.

I love my job. There are great perks. (I'm sure I'm going to get a "talking" for this one...)