Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Owner of a Lonely Heart

Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than - a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart

Last night my daughter came into my room asking, "Can I speak with you for a little bit?" Now you have to understand that it was late - way past her bedtime, Mr. Right was already conked out and she had a hint of seriousness about her. I assured her that of course she could talk with me and invited her up into bed.

She sat near me, with tears verging on the edges of her eyes, and she said, "I want to move out of this neighborhood. I don't have any friends around here and people at school won't like you unless you wear expensive stuff or have lots of things." And here the dam of tears broke.

What do you say to a sweet girl who is kind, fun, and amiable, but yet who feels lonely and rejected by those to whom she has reached a friendly hand? Why has she not found a bosom friend to share intimate thoughts, to laugh at the silliness of life, to sound out ideas? Why can others her age not see clearly her value and worth as we who know her do? I believe that my heart as a mother broke at that very fall of tears.

I held her close, wiped away tears and said the only words that would be truthful for me to utter in her moment of need. "I don't know why this all is happening, love. I do know that you're incredibly special and likable." She and I discussed in further details her feelings of loneliness and rejection, her sadness and anger, her frustrations to find a friend who lives close to her so that she could see her (him?) often.

We are preparing to put our house on the market come spring. The "I want to move to a different neighborhood" really wasn't coming from left field. So I said, "I know this won't make everything better at this moment, but can we talk to God about how you're feeling and what you would like to see happen in the future? We can give it to him to fix for us. Let's ask him to move us to a house where there will be a good friend for you and another good friend your brother. Let's ask for friends who will be great for you in friendship and in making great choices in life, someone who loves God like you love God and has the same views about things and people." She nodded and closed her eyes and let me share with God all that I knew her to be feeling. She still sniffled through the prayer, hurting again to hear about her loneliness and feelings of despair, but she seemed to calm a bit when we prayed specifically about her new friend to be.

When the prayer had finished, tears kept falling silently. She wanted to let go of these painful feelings, but she didn't know how to remove her mind from it. I suggested going to her bed so that I could tuck her in again. When I put her in, she asked that I snuggle with her a little while. While we snuggled, I suggested good thoughts to keep the sorrow at bay. I asked her to think about Grandma, her friend Bailey (in another state) and Grandma's garden where she loves to help Grandma take care of all the vegetables. She was asleep in minutes.

I realized that I was completely wrong before when I said to my daughter that praying about the situation wouldn't help immediately. God's comfort was at work before I even finished the last word of the prayer. And, in my opinion, it couldn't come a moment too soon.

May I ask also for your prayers for my lonely girl and for her mother who has a broken heart for her? That's always the best answer to any problem.

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