Friday, December 16, 2005

Call me Claus... Mrs. Claus

I'm beginning to look a lot like Mrs. Clause. I am eating my way through the holidays. This is not necessarily a good thing.

Pastries, cookies, candy, Christmas party spreads… It’s all spreading on my thighs and my belly. You know, the one that is shaking like a bowl full of, well it’s not quite jelly yet. It’s more like preserves... for now.

If I can just figure a way for it to spread upward… that’s a place I wouldn’t mind extra padding that’s real.

Why can’t salad be as exciting as Death by Chocolate Cake? Why can’t vegetables be as tempting as frosted sugar cookies with the sugar sprinkles?

I’ve met many a pastries that I’ve loved getting to know. I’ve not met a brussels sprout that I cared to give the time of day.

Conversation between me and cheesecake:

“Hi, Cheesecake. It’s so good to see you again. How’s it going with you?”

“Oh, Shalee. It’s been great. My family and I are going to the best parties. It’s so nice to be wanted.”

“Well, you have always been a favorite of mine. I always seek you out when I know we’re going to be at the same place together. Will I be seeing you at the Christmas party tonight?”

“I’ve already sent in my RSVP. Look for me. I’ll be dressed in the strawberry sauce! I’ll be looking good tonight!”

“It’s a date!”

I always keep my dates with Cheesecake. Mr. Right is very understanding.

Conversation between me and the veggie tray:

“Excuse me. Do you have the time?”

“Do you have any brussels sprouts with you?”

“No, not today. Just us broccoli and carrots here.”

“Well, it’s 7:10. Now don’t talk to me.”

Then I'd give them the cold shoulder. Now if brussels sprouts were on the tray, I would have given the entire tray a long, hard stare, making them quake in their compartments, then give them a cold shoulder as I walk away.

You see my dilemma. If you have any great recipes that will entice me to eat some good veggies, post them on the blog. I bet others are in the same boat. They just aren’t fessing up to it yet.

But remember: I know Cheesecake. And we talk!

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