Friday, June 29, 2007

Kids Say The Darndest Things...

EDITED TO KEEP THE PEANUT GALLERY QUIET!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After awhile he asked: "Mom, Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

MARC age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

D.I. (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, little James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

The sermon this Mom will never forget.... "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Oh, I can't wait to see what my kids will say this weekend. I have a feeling that it will be lots and lots of good stuff that I won't be able to recall on Monday.

But I do remember something that my daughter said today. She called me from Grandma's to tell me that the tooth fairy had made a visit and she left a whole $10! I choked on my coffee and then I said that the tooth fairy was pretty generous, but she's not always so willing to pay top dollar for teeth. She said she knew that, but she figured out why she received so much for it. It's because she was in a much smaller town and the tooth fairy didn't have to spread it out so much among the kids.

I suggested that she pull some of her other teeth while she was there at Grandma's house... We could do some great school shopping come fall.

She was not amused.

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