Tuesday, April 11, 2006

A Weekend All By Myself?

Crazy Hip Blog Mamas poses this question: If you had a weekend all to yourself, what would you do?

What is that? I can barely find one minute in the bathroom by myself…

If, in the miraculous and inconceivable event, I did find myself unpeopled with the ones I love, I would get up whenever I wanted to leave the bed, not eat breakfast, make myself a cup of joe and read, read, read.

I would then look around at all the stuff I needed to do and not do it. Well, maybe the dishes. But definitely I would ignore the bathrooms!

On this perfect, warm, slightly spring-time day, I would get into a bikini and lay out, all day long, going in when I need a break and going out again when my white skin longed to drink in more ultraviolet rays. I would look good in the bikini, bulging where I want to bulge and being flat in the areas that need to be flat. (Hey, if I am going to have a fantasy, I might as well make it a good one!) And there would be nary a squirrel in sight.

When I tired of the luxury of the written word and sipping of the bright and shiny nectar of warmth – turning a beautiful golden brown goddess, I would go eat some food at my favorite Chinese restaurant, ordering the soup and the crab rangoons along with my meal. The time would be pleasant and fulfilling, in ways more than food alone could satisfy.

Afterwards, I would go and see a GOOD movie (remember this is a fantasy), procuring the best seat and a parking spot relatively close to the door. When the highly uplifting and praise-worthy film ended, I would treat myself to a Baskin & Robbins Chocolate Fudge ice cream scone, just one scoop. I would be offered a free ½ gallon to take home.

I would sleep fully and completely all night, having the most pleasant dreams and waking refreshed and renewed.

On Sunday I would go to church and lunch with a friend at an adult-friendly restaurant, one with tablecloths, real napkins and silverware. After that I would get the massage that was scheduled just for me, enjoying the kneading and pulling - down to my inner being.

I would take an uninterrupted nap, followed by a rousing, fun-filled football game. Afterwards, I would laze around in a bubble filled tub, surrounded by candles and jazz.

Oh... and I would go to the bathroom often, just to savor the fact that no one is banging on the door, asking a question or tattle-telling.

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