The Hard Cell

The Girl, who is fast approaching 12 at lightning speed, has been petitioning us for a cell phone. This request has only come of late, mainly because she herself indicated the reasons that a cell phone would be frivolous at this stage in life less than 6 months ago.

1. She has no need to have one during the day at school.
2. She’s home most of the time and has the house phone for use.
3. When she does go out to a school activity and is in need of a phone, her friends will let her borrow one.
4. She doesn’t think that she has enough to say to anyone else to warrant a phone of her own. (She’s like her mother that way. She wants to get to the point and then get off. Poor dear…)
5. She can always use our cells to make long distance calls.

What has changed between 11 ½ and 12 to make her request a phone now?

“Everyone” else has one.

Of course we told her no mainly because we don’t think she needs one yet and she’s not old enough by our standards. I’m not for giving my kids things just because everyone else has/does something. Start down that road, and I’ll be not only poor, but only showing love by materialistic means: a poor compensation for real reflections of love like time together, conversations or finding ways to connect together. Besides, it’s an unnecessary expense at this point, even if I just adding her to our family plan.

But then she asked the big question: When will she be old enough? And to that, I draw a blank.

At what age do you think a child should have a cell? My first instinct is to say the age in which she can drive. Is that too late in this day and age? Am I missing something? I don’t need to consider the security of a cell for walking home from school because she will ride the bus.

Besides, most youths that we see using cells aren’t using them for security needs. Mostly we hear them chatting to friends about non-essential things or seeing them texting each other about where to meet later. It’s not really being used as a precaution; rather it’s more of an entertainment item.

Talk it out here. I want to get a feel about how you all would have this conversation because if you’re not already there, it’s coming. You might want to plan for it now rather than fumbling around like me later.

Not-So-Perfect Timing

Having a hormonal daughter aligned with a hormonal mother may just mean that we’re going to have fireworks a time or twenty-two… Poor Mr. Right. He’s going to be there to witness it all. Or maybe not. Maybe he’ll think that having Guy Time with The Boy would be perfect right about now.

Until 2015.

It's not even bad right now, but from all that I hear and all that I remember, it's going to come, no matter how good/sweet/gentle of a person she is. It’s the patience that I’m going to need that gets me to thinking. If you’re gonna pray for my sanity, please pray for that. I’m going to need all the serenity and fortitude that I can get, not to mention healing for my tongue for all the times I'm going to bite it in hopes of an showing love.

What can I do that will help The Girl and me with our tidal waves of emotions? Along with patience, I could use some wisdom from experience too. Think back to your adolescence. What happened that was a comfort to you? What do you wish could have happened to make this transition easier for you? What did you do as a parent that worked wonders with your pubescent children? What would you change if you had that chance again?

Spill it, people! I need help, one blogger to another.

Things You Might Do When Your Kids Are Gone

1. Read a book or four.
2. Watch several episodes of Lost online to catch up with the world.
3. Spend time with your husband without locking the door. (*ahem*)
   
4. Take a long bath.
5. Eat cookie dough without fear of being caught.
6. Take a nap.
   
7. Watch some movies (Inside Man, iRobot, Invincible - so far)
8. Go out for coffee with your sweet man.
   
9. Get all traces of laundry done.
10. Read every post in Bloglines.
    
11. Eat out, thinking that the kids would have loved to eat at that place.
    
12. Sort out clothes to give away from your closet, wondering if The Girl would want any of them for herself.
13. Look for a car to buy, all the time asking if the kids will be comfortable in the back of it.
    
14. Bake a bunch of potatoes only to realize that you've made way too many for two people to eat.
15. Get a craving for snuggle time in the morning time.
16. Call them at Grandma's to make sure that they're behaving and having fun with their cousins. Really, you just want to hear their voices.
    
17. Realize that the house is really quiet when they're not here.
18. Count the days until you can get them back.
    

Snippits

Yesterday we ran to H&R Block to have our taxes done.  The kids were so good as they sat in the waiting area; all the tax advisors there even commented on their surprisingly most excellent behavior.  (Evidently our kids'  behavior was the exception, not the norm.)  Our advisor suggested in a joking way that we should take them out for ice cream.

Since we found that we were actually getting money back, we decided that we would treat them to Cold Stone Creamery.  It was to be their first time ever to this heavenly place.  

On the way to the creamery, The Boy asked for a snack when we returned home.  We said he could have a snack, chuckling on the inside because they were about to have the best form of snack ever!  We went, they gasped, oooed and ahhhed over everything, took 5 years to make a decision because there were SO MANY CHOICES!, and then they smiled with realization that God made ice cream and it was good.

With full tummies we made our way home.  The Boy quickly quipped, "Do we still get to have a snack when we get home?"  and then he laughed gleefully.  

That Boy... he's such a kidder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Girl is finding that though she is now a member of the body of Christ, The Boy annoys her just as much as he did before she became a Christian.

She's struggling to find the right reaction to him, but at least she's trying.  Oh girl, this is just the beginning...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was reminded again last night how incredibly blessed I am to be married to Mr. Right.  This realization came as we were watching the fourth hour of Pride and Prejudice, and he was enjoying it as much as I was.  But he likes chick flicks and always has.  We love to watch When Harry Met Sally, Return To Me, While You Were Sleeping, Notting Hill, Always and many more.

Sigh.  I just love that man.

Edited to add:  Mr. Right would also like it pointed out that he likes Enter The Dragon, LOTR series, The Dirty Dozen, Tora Tora Tora, The Matrix, the Die Hard series, Gladiator, Mission Impossible series and many more.   He's not a wuss.  (Lucky for him, I like all those movies too.)

Lost

About a year ago, Mr. Right and I finally let some friends of ours talk us into watching Lost.  They've been working on us since the show began, but we just don't have the need to watch tv like most people.  After hearing all the glories of the show, we said okay and they let us borrow their Season One, and...

Oh. My. Lands!  was it good.  I think he and I watched the entire season in a few weeks, which is pretty good considering us.  The kids were too scared (as I knew they would be) to watch a show about a plane crash.  That's not really a bad thing.  I didn't want them watching it anyway.

At the beginning of summer and the kids were at Grandma and Grandpa's house, I finally got Season Two from the library.  The good side was that I waited on a very long list to get that season and finally it was in my hot little hands.  The down side:  I had a week before it was due for the next person fill their need.

Mr. Right quit at about the fourth episode, but I persevered.  That puppy was fully watched and returned on time.

Not to be too far behind, I have been watching Season Three online for a awhile now.  I watched one now and then when I awoke at the zero dark thirty hours.  I finally finished up the last episodes of that season a couple of weeks ago.   Whew. I am up to date like everyone else at the beginning of Season Four.  Woo hoo!

I actually thought I had missed the premier.  I thought it was on Wednesday, but when a friend called last night and mentioned that the two hour season opener was going to be on in 40 minutes, I quickly hustled everyone; baths, Bible reading and bedtime routines were accomplished in record time!

Oh, what a huge disappointment to find out that the first hour was just a recap.  We did other things until the "real" show began.  Which was really good because it would be bedtime for The Boy by then... or so I thought.

The Boy quickly ran to his room, only to return immediately with a "gift certificate" that I had given him for Christmas.  It was the one that said he could stay up an hour late.  He wanted to read with his daddy.  That sounded like a good reason to me, so we waited for Mr. Right to get home from work.  He got home just as Lost was about to begin.

The Boy sat with me while Mr. Right was taking a few minutes to get settled.  He saw the opening of Lost, the part where Jack looks at the dead girl while talking on the phone to be rescued and then after hanging up, Jack says, "Damn it" and then looks around like he's trying to figure out what to do. 

Before I have a chance to mute, to hustle him out or to talk about how that was bad language, The Boy innocently asks, "Mom, who's Damn it?"

And that's when it hit me that we've done such a thorough job of trying to keep only good things coming into the house that he doesn't even know what many curse words are.  He knows it's not pleasing to God when people say his name in vain and that we consider some name-calling words to be like curse words too, like stupid, idiot, moron.  And thanks to school and Ben 10, we've discussed how butt is to be used properly.  He is 8 after all.  I can't prevent him from hearing everything.

But when I heard him ask that innocent question, I realized that I was completely at fault.  We have a rule that we don't watch tv for a reason, and this was exactly why. In my excitement to watch the premier, I didn't think about what he could see or hear.  My bad.  Very much my bad.

I explained to him that Jack shouldn't have said those words because it was really a curse; then Mr. Right swooped in to save the day by taking him upstairs to read.

But I've decided one thing:  I'd rather lose Lost than to help my kids to get lost in this world.  

And I'm okay with that.  I can always watch the episodes online again if I feel the need to know, but right now, my need to know falls way short when compared to my need to be a great example to my kids.  

I find it amusing and fitting that these verses were among our reading last night.  I just didn't realize at the time that they would be appropriate in more ways than one...

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

"Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come! If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. "See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost. Matt 18:1-14

I May Look 12, But There's Not Enough Money In The World To Make Me Go Back To Junior High.

Some things should never be repeated.

• a bad poodle perm
• chicken pox
• middle school

High school for me, I'd do over in a second.  But there's something about the junior high that makes me think that God is giving us a real dose of hell in terms that we can understand.  I think it's a little something called hormones and power trips...

The Girl had her first official dose of "Queen Bee" syndrome on Friday night.  The middle school had their quarterly party night, which really is a lot of fun and heavily chaperoned.  They have sports in the gym, arts and crafts in the art room, board games in the library and music playing in the cafeteria (along with enough junk food to keep them going for the next millennium.)  

While she and a group of friends were in the cafeteria, another girl came up and started teasing The Girl about liking a boy... incessantly.  The Girl, who if you know her, held her own for a while, but after a long duration, she couldn't take it anymore. (Plus at 11, she is just not interested in boys yet.  She likes them fine as people, but when asked if she likes anyone, she actually shutters as if someone just gave her cooties.)  She was a less annoying version of Moaning Myrtle in the bathroom.  She cried for a while, and then, like her mother, she didn't want to come out due to her cry-induced puffy face.  When she finally did, she found that her concession stand food had been thrown away. 

It was just one of those nights for her.

But afterwards, she spent the night at a friend's house where she had cookie dough, talk time and her first introduction to Wii.  God knew just what to do to give her a pick-me-up.

Now I want to tell you a couple of things that I'm truly thankful for in The Girl's situation.

First, you notice that The Girl spent the night at a friend's house after the party, right?  We didn't find out that night that anything had happened at all.  It was Saturday morning that we first heard the news.  A friend of The Girl called to see how The Girl was doing.  Of course we were baffled by the question, so we asked why wouldn't The Girl be okay, and the friend told us without dramatics and without fanfare what had happened.  She was a great friend.

We were prepared for when The Girl came home from the friend's house.  The crying that happened later when we asked about the party wasn't chucked up to not enough sleep or hormones.

We also learned that there are some things about which The Girl will not talk.  She refused to tell us what happened other than "I just didn't have a good time at the party."  Thank you God for the good friend who called!  Now I know to be more observant and watchful if there are things that The Girl will not tell me.  (This portion really came as a surprise to me.  We have a great relationship where she tells me everything, or so I thought.)

We had a very leading conversation where we talked about how others may try to make her feel badly for several reasons: insecurity, loneliness, anger, power, jealousy or a myriad of other reasons.  We also gave example after example about how we (the parents) allowed others to have control over us with words and how we had to learned not to give that kind of control over to anyone.  Then we had story after story about how we were so much happier with ourselves and life after we learned that hard lesson.  We also put a plug in for her to be extra nice to the girl who was teasing her come Monday.  She really liked the "kindness would be like heaps of burning coals on her head" scripture.

I'm so glad that The Girl went through this ordeal now, though.  She was surrounded by great friends who stuck up for her and encouraged her to let it go, she has caring friends who reached out to her after the fact, and she learned a valuable lesson that sticks and stones may break her bones, but middle school can suck - but only if she lets it.

For Sale

For Sale: One slightly used 7 (almost 8) years old boy with artistic skills

Act now, and marker will be included.

Nicknames

The boy yelled to me that he was off to play with his friends.

I yelled, “See you later, Baby!"

The Boy: “Mom?”

Me: “Yeah?”

The Boy: ( Pausing a moment before speaking, then quietly, respectfully) “Would you please not call me Baby anymore?”

Me: "Oh. Sure. Bye The Boy."

The Boy: (With relief) "Okay. Thanks, Mom. See you later!"

And out he goes to his friends.

Sigh. I hate it when they grow up.

Mom Song

Okay, I saw this one at Addie's place and I had to do what any good blogger would do - I stole it.

Happy Monday!

She Shoots. She Scores.

I told Mr. Right on Wednesday night that I was pulling out all the stops for the kids' first meal back. I was going to surprise them with MAC AND CHEESE! HOMEMADE! They WILL love me again even if they're craving Grandma's house.

This morning when we were having breakfast, the girl looked at me and sweetly asked, "Mom, would you PLEASE make your homemade macaroni and cheese?" The boy cheered his agreement.

I just beamed and told them that it was already on the menu. Then they did a victory dance. It's now deemed the mac dance, and it's a lively one.

I wish you could have been at the table at dinner tonight. My kids oozed thanks and praise over this dish.

"Mom, this is the best macaroni and cheese in the WHOLE WORLD!"

"If there was a mac and cheese contest in the neighborhood, you would beat everyone hands down!"

"When I grow up, I want to cook just like you."

Move over, Grandma. The Mom is back in town.

Moms Know Best

GiBee hosted a really wonderful Mother's Day Contest where you could submit a 1500 character explanation of "the one most special piece of advice your mother or mother figure ever told you."

Have y'all noticed how I seem to misconstrue things or how the facts get altered in my mind? (No comment, Mr. Right...) Especially when I'm stinkin' busy at work? Because when I read the directions, I totally read 1500 words. Not characters... So when I sent my entry to GiBee, she immediately wrote back to tell me something along the lines, "Can't you follow directions?! This is a novel, girl! But I really like it, so I'll let it in."

And that is why GiBee and I are friends. She called me on it, teased me lovingly and then put it on the pile anyway. That's friendship, y'all. Knowing how to make fun of someone and still make that person feel good is an art, y'all. It's an art.

So here's my submission which is slightly over the 1500 character count... oooooh, about 3500 too many.

But does that really matter amongst friends? Evidently not. (Hey, I thought I was doing great because it was only 955 words...)


I can't peg down a single woman who gave me the best advice on being a mom. That's like trying to pick out your favorite child. If you have only one child, then of course that's easy... I wouldn't think that you would pick somebody else's kid... But if like me, you have more than one mom because everyone's mom became "Mom" to you, then you know you can't make that choice. It's the same for me with deciding who influenced me. I grew up with so many moms that I can't pick one who helped me the most; however, what I can do is describe how I have become the mom that I am from all the great examples that God set before me at just the right time.

From my mother I've learned that relying on God in the good and the bad is always the best choice. No matter what the world throws at you, having hope that God will take care of it gives you the strength to endure. She taught me that mothering is a tireless job that requires energy and patience for the multitude of activities - and I mean a multitude: plays, swing choir, concert choir, gospel choir (one of three white faces in the group, but boy that was fun, lively music!), youth group, dances, social activities… The woman was on the run my entire high school career and never once did she let on that she resented giving up her time for me.

She also taught me the art of giving from what you have happily and that if your husband invites someone over after church for a meal, it's okay to tell your kid to not eat as much (and make something for her later) so that everything would go smoothly and the guests would be satisfied. My mom opened her home to anybody, making it a safe haven for any other teen who needed it. She never knew how many kids she would find on her floor Saturday morning since often all my friends would congregate at our house for movies or games the night before. She's also taught me that a mother and a daughter can be good friends, even though they live hundreds of miles apart.

My mother-in-awe has taught me that you're never too old to get on the floor to play with children, that children are gifts from God and that everyone has a part to play in the Christian walk of a child. She's able to see Christ and God in ANY circumstance, item or person. She's also shown me that scriptures are to be a source of disciplining and a source of fun for all family members. She's also revealed to me that it is possible to love your in-laws with an open heart and to make them feel special to be a member of their family. She's also shown me that I can save a trunk load of money when it comes to Christmas because she spoils everyone.

From my "many other moms" I’ve discovered the art and importance of loving other children. Having extra patience for them, a hug at any given moment, a smile or encouraging word or even showing up to their high school plays or concerts will give those children memories to recall as they are in the midst of parenting too.

From all my mothers in the South I've learned that respect should be given at all times, please/thank you or yes ma'am/no ma'am should be ingrained into everyone and if a child misses that area of manners, calling her on it is a good thing. I've also found that hospitality to others, be it a party or someone who needed it on a whim, is fun not only for the guest(s) but for the host as well. Also I've discovered that when another set of parents take on another couple's children so that they can get away, it's really cool to give them all the sugar cereals that she never got at home. Boy do I remember loving to go to my other mother's house because she would ALWAYS have a special treat like that for my brother and me. Recently I told this "second mom" that I loved going to her house, knowing that I would have a treat, and she replied, "Shalee, we didn't do that with our kids. We only had that treat around for when you came." Now that's love, I tell you!

And from a host of great mothers, I've learned that saying sorry to your children is not something that will undermine your parenting; it is the one way to show children that we're all able to make mistakes and to still grow as people. I've also learned from them that no matter how much time you have with your children, it's never enough. So I try to love on my children, play with my children, sing with my children, get to know with my children, BE with my children as much as possible. I'm not their best friend, but I am someone that I want them to love and trust. Maybe later the best friends idea will come into play…

I've learned through experience that I'll never know everything there is to know about parenting; it's always an adventure of life-learning that I hope will never stop. And I've learned that you can love more deeply than you ever thought possible, even for a self-centered person like me, and hope is always new each morning in the smile of a waking child.

And I have hope that I can be the mom that my children and other children remember fondly on Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day to ALL the many moms out there. May you really get to relax on Sunday, and may the "I love you"s never stop at the end of the day.

Oh, and I love you, Mom.

What Beck Is Asking

So I actually took up the challenge laid out by Beck and allowed her to ask me five questions, sight unseen.

Yeah, I'm a daredevil all right.

Fortunately for me, she stayed on the straight and kind path. Just my luck, she would ask me something from the physics category and I would have to figure out a way to answer without looking really dumb... and ignorant.

• What would you say is the single most difficult thing about being a teenager today?

I'd say finding God in this ever expanding, self-centered world is the most difficult thing. Today, everything is about convenience, technology and reliance on self. On the norm, parents expect too much from children and want kids to act like adults sooner than they're ready for it to happen. Technology is evolving at such a rate that speed, entertainment and convenience are becoming the only things that matter to life. Sex is replacing love so fast that there are more people living together now than there are married couples. Where is God in a world like this?

With God being pushed to the side, debated, shelved or just for Sunday show, a youth will have a harder time discovering a deep, sincere, meaningful, interactive relationship with God. It's not impossible, mind you, because God is in control, but I think there are so many distracting noises that keep people from hearing his love song.

• Which one word do you use too much?

"I"

• Which actress - current or past - would you have play you in the movie version of your life?

Well, I'd love to say Kiera Knightley, Audrey Hepburn, Cate Blanchett, Jennifer Connelly, Kate Beckinsale or Grace Kelly or a dozen others who I think are tall and lithe and gorgeous and lovely. But since I'm not that way save in my dreams, I'm going to narrow it down to Sandra Bullock, Holly Hunter or Katharine Hepburn. And although I think them beautiful, I feel that I would need an actress with a sense of humor and perfect timing.

• What is the most beautiful spot on earth that you have ever seen?

The love for me in Mr. Right's eyes and freckles on my kids' faces

• What is your single greatest strength as a mother?

Knowing Mr. Right is right by my side and being able to say I'm sorry to my kids for all the times I'm screwing up

Well that wasn't too bad... If you feel that you'd be up to some questions from moi, let me know and I'll send some on to you as well.

Lost and Found

When we moved to KC, we were looking forward to experiencing some wonderful events that we hadn't been able to do in Nebraska. One of the joys we experienced was our first MLB games with the kids. The Royals may not have been playing that well, but that didn't matter to a 5 year old girl who was going to her first game. (Our son was just 1 and a half years old; he was only along for the juice and crackers.)

We went with a group of friends from church on a Family Fun Night at the stadium. It only cost $5 to get in the game, and all the hot dogs and Cokes were only a buck each. Big bonus for a family on a limited budget. We were going to make the most of that night.

I went to go get some food for everyone, and my daughter begged to come with me to help. Why not? It was her first experience and she wanted to get as much out of it too. I gave her the whole "stay right by me, don't wander off, it's a big, crowded place" spiel that every mom utters in those kind of environments, making sure she understood every word. She indicated that she understood, grabbed my hand and then we were off!

We waited in line, talked with those other parents/kids all around us and finally we got our food. I turned to my daughter and asked if she wanted ketchup or mustard on her hot dog; she said yes, so we moved to the condiment stand. I turned to ask her to carry the napkins... and she was gone.

Gone. No where in site. Could not be seen. Out of my line of vision. Disappeared.

My heart stopped. My mouth didn't.

"Daughter!" (Obviously I used her name then; I just choose not to do so here.) "Daughter!" I scanned all around the consession stand. I looked down the corridor leading to the stands. I kept yelling her name. She wasn't where I told her to be - right by my side.

Others just stared at me, offering no help. I couldn't see a security guard anywhere.

Oh God, please help me find my daughter. Please bring her back to me. Please give me your eyes to see through the crowd to find my little girl. Please let a nice person help my daughter right now- a nice person who will do her no harm. Please give me sense to stay calm enough to think clearly. Help me God. Help me!

Not knowing what else to do, I ran back to our seats while carrying all that food, crying and yelled to Mr. Right, "Come down here right now! I can't find Daughter!" Someone in our church group immediately grabbed our son, and Mr. Right and a couple of friends came running down from the nosebleed seats. I explained what happened while one of them unloaded my arms, answered all the questions about what she was wearing; then I told them that while they were going to find a security guard, I was going back to the concession stand to see if I could find her there. You'd better believe that I kept a continual uttering of those frantic prayers from the moment of not seeing her beside me. Pray without ceasing never became so clear to me as in that moment.

I waited. It was an eternity. I kept calling out her name, turning and looking everywhere, praying with such earnest belief that God would lead me to her. Suddenly I started to walk down all the corridors between the concession stands and our corridor - there were 4 in all.

Down the second one, I heard a woman saying, "Don't worry, Sweetie. Your mom will be here in a minute. She's looking for you too." And there before me was a woman who was standing with my crying daughter at the head of the stairs, scanning the area.

Thank you, God! Oh thank you for helping me to find her.

I ran up to the woman, grateful for God's answer that a nice person found my daughter and stayed with her until she could be found. I kept thanking her over and over as I hugged the breath out of my daughter. If I had some kind of reward to give her, I would have handed it over to her without a moment's pause...

When we were walking down the corridor back to the hallway, I asked my daughter what happened, why she left my side, why she didn't listen to my directions. She replied that she was just looking for our seats and she thought I was with her.

Mr. Right, our friend and Security was coming up the walkway. They must have thought that my daughter was still lost with all my crying, but it became clear immediately that everything was all right, that I was leaking tears of joy. I thanked the Security man, who said that I did a great job of describing her and did right by dressing her uniquely. (She was wearing a Cracker Jacks t-shirt and shorts.) I think he was trying to help me redeem some dignity and mothering skills at that moment.

Believe it or not, neither Mr. Right nor I badgered our daughter about what had happened. We did give her the "See why you need to listen to us!" speech on the way back to our seats, but that was it. We were so happy to have her back, safe and sound. And trust me, lukewarm hotdogs and watered down drinks never tasted so good. My daughter, who may have stayed just a tad bit closer to us than normal still laughed a lot, ate a lot of peanuts, asked a lot of questions, bossed her little brother around and enjoyed the fireworks at the end of the game. It was a great night had by all.

Now, years later, I can look at this terrible moment and see it in new light. Several ideas come to mind about how it can apply to us spiritually.

1. I think I can imagine how God feels when we return to him on one of our self-induced wandering. Even though he knows exactly where we are and what we're doing, I imagine that he still has that sense of relief when we return from our straying. He holds us close, glad to have us back where we belong - in the safety of him and his protection.
2. He doesn't quit "looking" for us when we've wandered away. He calls and calls and calls our name, wanting us to hear his voice and to come back.
3. He asks us why we didn't listen to his instruction. He knows that with his words of wisdom or instructions comes safety and protection.
4. Even though we chose to not listen to his words of warning that would keep us from sin, he doesn't lecture us to death about not listening. He says he won't remember our sins when we repent, and he means it. We get a fresh clean slate with him so that we can start enjoying life again.
5. He wants us to stay close to him when we realize how scary life is when we walk away from him. He wants to hold us, love us and to let us enjoy the blessings that still come our way. I imagine him pulling us into his lap and snuggling with us just a little longer so that we can rest assure in his love. He wants us to remember how awful life is when we don't listen to his instructions.
6. He takes special care to show that we are still his children. He gives us back the family seal; he doesn't make us feel as if we're not good enough to be back in his care. He tells us from the first moment that we will always be a part of his family - loved, welcomed and included.
7. He'll start the entire process over if we wander away again. He loves us without ceasing and his patience knows no end.

Although I would never want to go through that awful experience again, I love that I have a new understanding of the prodigal son parable. I seem to know it inside-out from the son's point of view. I am that wandering sinner. I even have been able to empathize with the brother who stayed home, doing everything the father asked. (And I can't tell you how many "It's not fair!" moments I've had with God.)

But this time, I think I have a better understanding of what it means to be the father, on the search for his child. And the joy that comes when all our family is safe at home. No wonder the dad gave the son gifts and threw such a huge party. He was happy beyond belief and relieved beyond measure, and he just wanted to get jiggy with it to share his excitement, encouraging others to take pleasure in his joy.

The same way that I smiled at everyone for the rest of that game.

Real Beauty

My daughter was getting ready to jump in the shower when she turned ot me and said, "I want to start working out with Dad." Cool I thought. She can start learning about fitness and keeping herself healthy. She continued, "Yeah, I need to work out because I'm getting fat." Then she looked in the mirror and sighed. Screeeeeeeech!!!! What? Why is my 10 year old, size 14-slim girl calling herself fat? Where does she get that? We don't watch tv, we don't have any magazines in the house... well, Bon Appetit, but that doesn't have ANY articles on why anyone should be skinny. We're super selective about the movies we watch... the last "iffy" one we let her watch - with us, I might add- was Napoleon Dynamite and if anything, that one encourages youth to be themselves. Have I contributed to that thought? Have I said anything to make her feel that she isn't good enough? Have I criticized myself to make her think that this is the natural way to think about yourself? Probably. I have mentioned lately that I really need to start running again. But I never implicated that my daughter needed to do it too. It was always a "me" statement. School is the only other place I can think where this awful, ugly lie started to rumor. I know that at this age, the self-doubt starts to creep into their hearts. One person may mention one slight in passing - not even meaning anything in passing - and a girl's mind will take it and run with all the things that are "wrong" with her. How, oh how, can I stop this madness? I asked her why she thought she was fat. She shrugged and then said, "I'm not really fat, but my legs are big." This from a girl whose legs are the size of toothpicks... I immediately challenged her comment. I reminded her of her jean size - slim is called slim for a reason. I told her that exercising will help her to feel better about her body and herself, but she doesn't need to lose any weight. Then I brought to her attention that she is a creation of the great Artist, and God only makes masterpieces. She smiled, ever-so-slightly smiled, at that thought. Real beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Please remind someone of that fact today, especially if the person is a girl on the cusp of self-awareness. I remember needing it when I was my daughter's age. Somethings never change.

WFMW- Parenting Tip for Any-Age Child

God has given us an incredible responsibility as a parent to “train up” our childern spiritually. Unfortunately, I believe we all often face the same problem…life gets in the way. We all share a similar daily routine of getting children up in the morning, getting them to school on time, picking them up from school, taking them to piano lessons and basketball practices, feeding them dinner, and preparing them for bedtime. Some of us even have the additional task of working outside the home. Let’s face it, we are all busy and life really gets in the way.

How can we have time to do what God has commanded us to do and still maintain some sense of reality? Let me encourage you with a few simple strategies from Deuteronomy 6:6-9…Let's term them Diligent Intentional Parenting:

And these words which I command you today shall be in your
heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall
talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie
down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your
hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall
write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

“When you sit in the house” – what better time to communicate the truths of God’s word than when you are eating breakfast or dinner together. Eating dinner together has to be planned and intentional. Spiritual instruction and worldview perceptions should be the subject matter of conversation.

“When you walk by the way” – there is no better time to find application to spiritual training than when you are out of the house. As a parent we should always keep a look out for “teachable moments” that we can use to teach our children about important Bible truths.

“When you lie down” and “When you rise up” – the first and last words of every day our children should be hearing is that God loves them and has an incredible plan for their life.

“You shall write them on the doorposts of your house” – we should have God’s word plastered all over the inside of our houses. Our refrigerators and mirrors should have scripture taped to them for the family to memorize together. Start out with simple verses…make it a game with prizes…have fun with it! Scripture memory should not be a chore.

My tip is really the last one. I have scriptures in my some of my kitchen cabinet doors so that I can see that scripture when I get the salt. I have one on my refrigerator so that I can be reminded when I'm preparing meals. I have one in my bathroom so that when I brush my teeth, more than just my mouth can be cleansed. I want my kids to see scriptures in an active, useful position in our lives.

As I'm rereading the Bible, I talk to Mr. Right and the kids about what is new to me or what verses I am growing to love. I read in front of my children so that they can see that it is a part of my routine.

My mother-in-awe has a game she plays with the kids when they visit her. She makes up business card-sized scriptures and gives them to the kids. When they can say the verse to her, she offers them a treat from the treasure box - a piece of candy, a new small toy, bubbles, etc. She wants them to connect scriptures with treasures, which hopefully they will translate to greater rewards as they mature in Christ.

Remember, you are your child’s first Children’s Minister, and God has ordained you as a parent to be the spiritual leader of your children. Let me encourage you today to become a Diligent Intentional Parent and begin to make an impact spiritually in the life of your child. We can do it but we will have to be diligent (never give up attitude) and intentional (planned and structured) in the way we parent our children spiritually.

Head on over to Shannon's for some other great ideas.